Sunday, October 12, 2008

Hope is the driving force

Hope. Hope is what gets people up in the morning. Hope inspires people. It gives them the energy, strength, and drive to keep going. In my professional life, I have noted that HOPE is the savior for the suicidal. Having hope is the difference between life and death, in some cases.

Today, I found hope. I have been HOPEless for a while now, not looking forward, growing impatient and irritated. Lately, I have felt that the hope I once had is gone. The hope in a future, my future plans and dreams got beaten down by pesisimistic views and thoughts.
Today, is a new day. Today wasn't necessarily the best day of my life. Actually, physically it wasn't a good day at all. I have felt weak, useless, unlike myself. But now I feel revived and.....HOPEFUL.
I was looking up things about Julian, trying to find out a prediction on how it will snow. Looking through all the lovely Bed and Breakfasts they have there intrigued me.
Now its just a simply hope that is pulling me along today and making me feel more refreshed, now that I have something more to look forward to. My hope is merely the excitement of one day being able to go to one of those beautiful Bed and Breakfasts, to walk around Julian holding hands with the man I love and holding each other closer to keep warm. My hope is just in the thought of one day playing in the snow, looking up at the sky and having snow flakes fall on my nose and chin. Its getting so cold that my cheeks turn pink and I wrap my arms around my coat to pull in the warmth of my body.
Its picking pumpkins from a pumpkin patch, taking them home and craving them. Perhaps making a pumpkin pie or pumpkin soup with the insides.
Its the cold nights when I drink tea and soup to keep warm. Its putting on socks because my toes are so cold.
Its eating hot dogs and tater tots on a weekend afternoon.
All this....small stuff...This is my HOPE. These are what keep me going and keep me feeling well and happy.
They aren't complicated. They aren't "fabulous" or even fancy. But its just what I want. Its my HOPE. And this Hope is simply looking forward to these simple things.....but its these simple things that make life wonderful.

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